#thighgap by Chandler Morrison

 

Rating: ★★★★★

Genre: Psychological/Horror

Format: Paperback

Pages: 120

Read: 09/03/22

Amazon Synopsis:

Los Angeles fashion model Helen Troy wasn’t always skinny. Drastic weight loss has given her everything–money, confidence, attention, respect. Being thin has legitimized her, and starvation has become an addiction.

Following an encounter with a seemingly “perfect” rival model who destabilizes Helen’s shaky self-confidence and shatters her fragile illusion of control, she’s sent into a tragic tailspin that will take her to the lowest depths of hell. Nightmarish versions of herself begin materializing in mirrors, and her tried-and-true coping mechanisms stop working. Reality comes apart at the seams as Helen’s disease manifests in increasingly self-destructive fashions, forcing her to ask herself…

What does perfection look like, and how much would you sacrifice to obtain it?

Review:

“Once he’s gone, I return to my mirror. It is my altar. My cheekbones, my xylophone ribs, my flat stomach, my thigh gap–these are my sacraments.”

How do you perceive the people around you? Your friends, your co-workers, a stranger passing by? Do you see the person as a soul or just an image by size and appearance?

In Chandler’s #thighgap we are introduced to Helen Troy and join her on her miserable journey through the darkness of suffering. 

She suffers from body dysmorphia, drug addiction, addiction to laxatives, binging and starvation which leads her to severe bulimia and anorexia. She is also addicted to how others perceive her and needs their constant attention and praise. 

Her descent into this life began at a young age of being shamed  for what the world perceives as being overweight. Her poor self image follows her into adulthood and has caused her to become a ghost in a world of needing to be thin and beautiful, desired and accepted. But it is an empty life filled with deception and shallow people who only see her as a toy to be played with. It does not matter that she is now thin, she is still being shamed and she slowly descends even further into a darkness there is no turning back from. 

There is much to ponder upon while taking in all the themes that are laid open with utter rawness and deep, if not a bit ugly imagery. How could it be displayed any other way? This is not a pretty story. It is a life filled with a feeling of no hope. A descent into one's own insanity created by the world one is surrounded by and by one's own severe struggles with self acceptance and a repulsive self image. It is the cruelty of a world filled with offensive humans. A world of materialism, self-absorption, and cultural, political, and economic issues in society.

“He laughs. A sound like old, dead music on a broken record player. “Shame is the name of the game, summer child. You don’t need me to give it to you, either. You’ve got plenty of it all on your own.”

A very poignant and important topic written with raw truth. It has moved me to heartfelt tears and raw emotions and there is no denying that this story is intensely heartbreaking. 

Goodreads Author Page:

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/

Amazon Author Page:

https://www.amazon.com/Chandler-Morrison/e/

Review Links:

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/

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